Thursday, March 13, 2008

OK, So I am not there yet...

...but i think that my time leading up to my departure is worth sharing.

I am scared. I am scared to sell all of the things that I have accumulated. I am scared of missing my amazing children. I am scared that when I get there I will disappointed and lonely. I am scared that I will fail upon my arrival. I am scared that I will not make enough money to make it back. But do I really want to come back to everything that is in this now?
All I want to come back to is my children. I want to come back as the women that I know I am. You see all of these fears keeps us from doing the things that we need to make us who we are. Children makes us mothers and fathers. Parents makes us children. School makes us students. Employers makes us employees. Faith makes us believers. But what are we when we stand alone? What have we done to build, strengthen and define ourselves? Have you ever given up anything to feel nothing but yourself? Or to follow a dream that you felt was unattainable?Are you selfish in doing so? I would hope that people would not think of it as selfishness. But then again, I could just be justifying myself. But are those skeptics just as scared to follow their own dreams?

I am selling a majority of my things. things that I don't need. things that I do need. things that don't define who I am and things that do. Just to see if I can make this voyage. Just to test the fact that we don't need all the "stuff" that we accumulate. We just need each other. I know that sounds cliche, but i fully believe this. we need to know that we are all here and to know that there is something bigger than us.

1 comment:

James said...

I remember being scared as well, but as soon as you get there you will realize that it is worth it to live in another culture

James Brill